Presencing = Presence + Sensing
Presencing is a skill for happiness inspired on Otto Sharmers Theory U. It is a practice of offering Presence and Sensing into oneself.
Presencing includes being present in the moment. Therefore it is also a mindful practice.
I learned this practice during the so called dyads. The first time I learned a dyad was during the NVC (non-violent communication) training given by NVC trainer Robert Gonzales. I had been searching for an advanced NVC trainer, who did not use NVC just as a ‘trick’ in communication. During this course I met https://www.nvcrising.org/Simone Anliker, who took on the Dyad to practice daily online. This gave me the opportunity to regularly do a dyad with people around the globe.
The Dyad Practice reminded me of the same skills that I described in my book Teamcoaching with the Authentic Dialogue. In that book I wrote how sharing the inner dialogue helped teams to build a collective consciousness and thus understanding each other became more easy – it supported a bond in a deeper layer. The more I practiced dyads and experienced the nurturing effects of it, the more I started to facilitate it at work, in teams and now also my trainees learn it during the training to become a Chief Happiness Officer.
The first time I introduced it in the intercultural world, was when I offered a workshop to Sietar The Netherlands. Due to the lock down, this workshop was postponed. Luckily we changed it into a webinar.
The Dyad Practice has become a worldwide movement. Let me share more about this practice with you.
What is a dyad?
A dyad is not just a conversation between 2 people, but has an effect that is enhancing connection, mindfulness and embodiment. People often experience a de-stressing effect and calming effect that helps to feel more at peace. Also it supports the nervous system to give energy to our “open minded thinking brain”, so we can get more clarity, empathy and a perspective of possibilities instead of a troubled mind.
In a webinar given for Sietar The Netherlands, I explain the Dyad Proces.
How does it work?
Back to my book about the Authentic Dialogue. In this book I described an exercise with a sharer and a witness. The Dyad Practice is derived from Non Violent Communication since it is a great way to explore emotions and needs, in a safe space and to go beyond self-censoring and self-blaming. Therefore it is enhancing Psychological Safety.
During the Intercultural Dyad we come online together and split in pairs. The roles of the witness and the sharer change every 5 minutes. In total it is a round of 4 times, which makes a complete dyad 40 minutes.
The effect of someone only listening, without judging, has the effect that both the sharer and silent witness cultivate Delta Waves in the brain – and thus this has a calming effect, that stimulates what i refer to as the Higher Brain: the part of the brain that supports your perspective of possibilities.
The self inquiry starts with a dyad question, asked by the witness. After having asked the question for self inquiry for the sharer, the witness stays silent. Therefore this role is called the silent witness.
Suggestions for the silent witness:
- be present with an open heart, leaving behind judgments and open a space of respect – your presence can be felt by the one who is inquiring and sharing. This is also known as the skill of holding space.
- listen with curiosity without needing to actively respond or interact at all; it is enough to have your eyes open; this often offers reassurance and is a way to say “I am here with you” without needing to speak, nod, or smile,
Suggestions for the sharer:
- ·be self aware: observe yourself and listen deeply inside yourself and become aware of our own thoughts, emotions and bodily sensations
- be honest; this is your chance to inquire in a safe space and go beyond (self) criticism
The Dyad is NOT about
- giving advice or problem solving
- practicing therapy
- responding to what the sharer has said
If you want more information, you can watch this interviewed with Simone Anliker in my Chief Happiness Officer Podcast.